France Voila travel and French tourism, canal cruisers, boating on the canal du Midi

By Dawn Eleanor Ramsay

In a lot of expat families, the children know much more French than the parents. While the parents who move here with their family tend to be the very involved kind back at home, in France, they often find themselves quite out of their element. The notes that come home for school events, clubs or book offers seem like they require an official translation. The notes written by the teacher are often indecipherable due to the handwriting differences alone. Forget going to a parent-teacher conference! That could be as scary as an Inquest. The intimidation factor leads to an inadequate or ineffective involvement.

I recently attended the parent orientation night for my daughter who is in her 1st year of official schooling- the CP here in France. What an eye opener! Since I don’t yet know any of the parents, and I didn’t bring my daughter- even though most parents did, I said nothing before the program began. The school cook explained about the lunch program and then we split into classes with our children’s individual teachers. No one knew me, I was just one of the crowd, and my American accent hadn’t revealed me as a foreigner- yet.

Once welcomed into the class, I soon learned part of the reason I have been so welcomed by the local Mayor and other officials. For the last four years, including this one, this area has lost a teacher, and therefore a class. Each year, grade levels are combined, and more students are bused further and further from home. My daughter’s class is 5 and 6 year olds. It is a class of 28 children with non-readers and readers combined. This alone is upsetting to French parents who know the importance of a good education. But, come to find out, it is only one of the worries!

"What about those English kids overwhelming the classrooms?" WOW! I didn’t know I had this to worry about. The mayor had practically done back-flips in his office when he discovered I had a child to enroll in school. I thought (mistakenly) that everyone else would feel the same. It seems that although French parents are upset at losing teachers, and having to bus the children, they are equally concerned that given this reality, the teachers may not be able to cope with the range of abilities in their classroom. Their children’s education could suffer from the extra time required to teach the growing number of foreign (mostly English) students.

This whole situation has caused me to re-examine how other students are handled in the system. I’m afraid many Expat parents don’t accurately know the level their children are at because their children speak more French than they do- albeit not enough.

Naturally, most children tend to overestimate their knowledge- some of us never outgrow this trait. Expat parents reinforce this false sense of knowledge because the children do understand so much more. Schools, at least the country schools in my area, seem to let the foreign children slide through the system without enforcing the same standards as for the French students. This can be a very dangerous thing, leaving the foreign students lacking by French standards and also weak in written English since few are pursuing those skills at the same level they would at home.

Very well, you say... "What the ____ can I do about it?" Firstly, don’t over- react and think you must immediately pull your child out of their country school and send them back home or to an International School. Most often, it isn’t necessary. There is a lot that can be done.

Here are some suggestions- none are entirely painless:

Learn French yourself and insist that your children help you. Consistently show them you are willing to put effort into learning yourself- and you aren’t afraid to do exactly what you are asking them to do.

I know it’s difficult for many parents to get their children to do more than grunt when they arrive home from school. However, if you establish a routine of speaking French together, you should start to pick up on problems. Ask your kids how to say things, count on them to help you when shopping or making a telephone call in French. If they have been here a year, and can’t or won’t do it- you may have a problem. It may be as simple as a lack of confidence, or it may be they aren’t learning as much as you think they are.

Participate in as many community events as possible

You can’t expect total strangers to walk up to you and offer free advice, opinions or evaluations of your child’s progress. However, if you get to know your neighbors, parents from school, local shopkeepers, etc. they will become more confident about tipping you off as to how your child is doing. In France children are discussed openly between friends and adults often correct each others’ children. Become a true member of the community and you will benefit from this too. <

Pick your child up from school as frequently as you can. It gives the opportunity to see the teachers and administrators.

When you are a familiar face at the school, the teacher who is struggling with your child in class is more likely to approach you. Don’t just sit in the car. Walk up to the gate, and offer a friendly “Bonjour, ça y’était?” (Hello, how did it go?). If you get a grimace- find out what’s going on. If you never get any suggestions, ask for some. If your French is too limited, bring someone along once in awhile and let the teachers know you are willing and able to help.

If your French is not good, have a bilingual person give you a fair evaluation of your child’s progress.

Find someone un-intimidating with decent French to talk to your child. Have them look at homework and ask questions about the content, as well as asking general questions to see if your children really understand the subject matter. Make sure they get your child to answer their questions in French. Choose a person who will tell you what they really think, and preferably someone not affiliated with school. You want to make sure they don’t just tell you what they think you want to hear. You want the truth.

Attend every school meeting.

If you don’t go and hear what other parents are saying, you will never learn what is expected. French children spend tremendous amounts of time doing homework compared to English or American students. The expectations are very different. A foreign student should work even harder, but I have found, that though they work harder than they would at home, they don’t match the effort of their French counterparts. Even if you don’t understand the whole conversation, you are again at least making an effort and the teachers will make more of an effort too.

Make sure your child participates in non-scholastic activities with French children.

No one can learn to speak French solely by listening. Since most classes are lecture style in France, a foreign student needs a way to practice everyday conversation. If they don’t speak French at home, then they need another outlet to practice the mundane words of life.

Consider a French tutor.

No one wants their children to spend all day studying. But, especially for children who are older when they arrive in France, they may need some basics to get them started. The tutor doesn’t need to be expensive, well trained, or a native French speaker, but they should be able to teach basic grammar and conversation skills and should be an encouragement to your child.

Expect the French school to provide a good education.

Expect progress, inspect progress and communicate your satisfaction or dissatisfaction both supportively to your child and cooperatively to the school. I know one parent, who speaks no French whose son was going to be held back a year due to poor progress. Since he had already entered school one year below his English standard, it would have had a huge impact on him. She wrote a letter in English to the school begging them to reconsider then put it on the computer translator. The result was horribly muddled French, but more importantly, they understood the impact being held back again would have and allowed her son to continue on. Now, he is working with a tutor and making big gains. The knowledge was there, the maturity was there, and the will of the parent, child and school all were aligned. Most school staff want every child to succeed. If you communicate constantly with the school, follow up on what you have asked them to do and do what is asked of you- expect great results.